5 Primary Love Languages for Service Work | Positive Words
Topic: 5 Primary Love Languages
Finding Your Primary Love Language
If you want to keep your spouse’s emotional love tank full, then finding his 5 primary love language for you is the knowledge of love language. Five love languages are mandatory.
But first, make sure that you yourself have your own positive words, committed time, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, some people will immediately recognize their 5 primary love language.
But for most people, it will not be that easy. Few people would be like Bob of Parma Heights, Ohio, who told me after listening to five emotional lovebirds, ‘I don’t know. It seems like two of these are of equal importance to me. ‘ I asked, ‘Which one?
What do you mean by ‘physical touch’?
“‘Body touch’ and ‘positive words’,” replied Bob. Or rubs your back or holds hands or kisses when you’re not playing?” Bob said, ‘It’s all right. I don’t dislike them, but the special thing is sx.
At that moment I feel strongly that she really loves me.
‘ Leaving aside the subject of physical touch for a moment, I turned to the words and asked,
‘When you say ‘positive words are also important
,’ what kind of sentences do you think are more important?
‘ ‘Positive’ any positive sentence.‘ Bob replied, ‘when she tells me how good I look, how smart I am, how hard I work,’ when she appreciates my work at home when she appreciates me for spending time with the kids, she tells me indirectly that she loves me – all these things are very important to me.
‘ ‘Does your mother – Have you heard things like this from your father?” ‘Not often,’ said Bob, ‘what my parents usually gave me were criticism or demanding words. I guess that’s why I liked Carol so much because she gave me positive and appreciative words.
“I want to ask you if Carol fulfills your need for sx, that is, as much sx as you want, she does it with full interest, but she gives you negative words, criticizes you, in front of others humiliation, then how do you think you will feel the love of her?
“I don’t think so,” he replied, “I think it will hurt me deeply. I think I’ll be stressed. ‘ Bob, ‘ I said, ‘ I think we have discovered that your primary love language is ‘ positive words ‘. Sx is very important to you. And it’s also important for you to feel intimacy with Carol, but emotionally more important to you.
If she keeps on criticizing you verbally all the time and humiliating you in front of people then there will come a time when you will not even be inclined to have a physical relationship with her as she will be a source of deep sorrow for you.
‘ Bob made the same mistake that many people make. They assume that physical touch is their primary love language because of their keen interest in sx. The desire for sx for a man is basically physical.
The desire for sx is driven by the structure of his sperm cells and by the spermatic fluid filled in the spermatic cord. When the spermatic cord is full, there is physical pressure to come out.
Thus, the basis of a man’s desire for sex is physical. Most of the sx-related problems in marriage are not related to physical technique but to the fulfillment of emotional needs. The desire for sx for a woman is not centered in her anatomy but is related to the emotional structure.
There is no physical reason that would compel her to have a physical relationship. His desire is entirely based on his feelings. If she senses that her husband is loving, appreciating, and loving her, her desire for physical intimacy is awakened.
But without emotional closeness his physical desire is negligible. Since a man’s sexual sense is based on a need for a regular physical release, he automatically assumes that this is his 5 primary love language. But if he does not enjoy physical touch other than sx, then it cannot be called his love language at all.
The desire for sx is completely different from the emotional need to be loved. This doesn’t mean that sx is unimportant to him – it is extremely important – but sx alone doesn’t satisfy his need for love. His wife should speak his primary emotional love language.
In fact when his wife speaks his 5 Primary Love Languages for.
The emotional love tank of the husband is full and when the husband speaks his love language and the emotional love tank of the wife is full, then the sx aspect of their relationships is automatically fine.
Most of the related problems in marriage are not related to physical technique but related to the fulfillment of emotional needs. Primary ‘ I think. During the subsequent discussion and deliberation, Bob said, You are right. Certainly, positive words are my 5 primary love language.
She literally criticizes me so I cut her sx off and start fantasizing about other women. 5 Primary Love Languages for But when she tells me how much she likes and appreciates me, my natural sxal desires turn to her.’ Bob made an important discovery during our brief.
What is your primary love language?
What do you feel most loved by your wife?
What are you most looking forward to?
If the answer to these questions does not come to your mind immediately, perhaps by looking at the negative use of these love languages, you will get success in your endeavor.
What does your spouse do, say, or don’t do, what doesn’t say that hurts you deeply?
For example, if you are deeply hurt by your spouse’s critical words, perhaps your love language is a positive word.
. This is not because he is neglecting to speak your primary love language but because he is using that language like a knife in your heart. I remember Mary living in Kitchener, Ontario, who said, ‘Dr. Chap, what shocks me the most is that Ron doesn’t even waver to help me.
He keeps watching television and
I keep doing all the housework.
I don’t understand how can he do that if he really loves me?
‘ Mary ‘s grievous hurt, because Ron was unwilling to help her in the house, was a clue of primary love, ‘ acts of service ‘. If •
You hurt the most that your spouse hardly gets any chance
gives gifts so perhaps your primary love language is to receive gifts. If not, then this is your primary love language. What hurts you the most have done. The very thing you’ve urged the most will probably reveal your primary love language.
Such requests were your efforts to get the protection of love that troubled your spouse. The person will agree, when in fact those requests are emotional from your spouse Elizabeth lived in Maryville, Indiana, and used this same technique to find her primary love language.
At the end of a seminar session she told me, ‘Whenever I think back to the last ten years of my marriage and ask myself what I insisted on the most from Peter, my love language becomes evident. . I made the highest request for the committed time.
Time and again I told him that we should go on a picnic, go somewhere far away and spend the weekend, TV for an hour. v . Close and talk to each other, go together, etc. I felt neglected and unloved as he would often ignore my requests.
He used to give wonderful gifts for my birthdays and other special occasions and he was surprised that I was not thrilled to receive them. ‘ He continued, ‘During your seminar, the lights of both of us lit up at the same time. In the middle of the seminar, my husband apologized to me that he had not understood my point for so many years and that is why he used to ignore my requests.
He also promised me that the situation will be different in the future and I am sure it will be so. ‘ Another way to find your primary love language is to examine what you do or say to express your love for your spouse.
Chances are high that what you do for her is a constant act of service to your spouse, so maybe (though you will be most likely to expect the same thing. If you don’t always) this is your love language. If positive words are your love language
If so, there are more chances that you would be making the most of them express your love towards your spouse. In this way, you can also know your love language by asking, ‘How do I express my love for my spouse?
Remember on this method is a possible clue to knowing your primary love language, it is not a surefire or absolute indicator.
For example, the husband may have learned from his father that love is shown by giving good gifts to the wife, and because of the behavior of the father, the husband also wants to show his love by giving good gifts to his wife, as he did to his father.
learned, although ‘receiving gifts’ is not the primary love language of the husband. He is doing this because he has learned this from his father’s watch. 5 Primary Love Languages for I have suggested three ways that you can find your primary love language.
. Take some time to write down what you think is your primary love language. Then you list the other four in order of importance.
What does your spouse do or doesn’t do that hurt you the most? Your love language will probably be the exact opposite of what hurts you. For what do you request your spouse the most? What will be most requested, will probably be your love language?
That’s how you would know that you are being loved. How do you regularly express love to your spouse? Your way of expressing love can reveal what makes you feel loved.
Finding it will help. If the two languages seem to be of equal importance, meaning that using these three techniques makes you both speak your primary love language equally loudly, you may be bilingual. if so
It will be easier for your spouse to find your primary love language. Now your spouse has two options, any one of which will be the effective language to express love towards you.
Two types of people may have difficulty finding their primary love language. The first type of people is those whose emotional love tank has been full for a long time. The spouses of such people have expressed love in many ways and hence they are not able to decide which way makes them feel most loved.
They only know that they are being loved. Other people whose love tank has been empty for so long that they can’t even remember what makes them feel loved. In both cases, if you go back to the experience of falling in love and ask yourself, what did I like about my life partner in those days?
What did he do and say that made me want to spend time with him? ‘ If you can relive these memories, it will give you a little sense of your primary love language. Another style is to ask yourself, ‘What would be the ideal life partner for me?
If I could find the perfect life partner, what would it be like? “Even from the picture of your perfect or ideal partner, you will get an idea of your primary love language. Having said that, I would also like to suggest that spend some time writing down what your primary love language is in your opinion.
Then you value Also list the other four in order of importance. Also, write what you think is your spouse’s primary love language. If you wish to list the other four in order of importance, do so. Sit down and discuss with your spouse.
Make sure that this should be your primary love language. Then tell each other what you think is your own primary love language. Once you exchange this information, I will tell you every three weeks. I recommend playing this game three times a week.
This game is called ‘Tank Check’ and it’s played like this. When you come home, you say to the person in front of you, ‘Tonight on a scale from zero to ten’ What is your score and the tank’s score?’ Zero means completely empty and ten means ‘I’m full of love and free’ I don’t need more love than this.
You tell this by reading your emotional love tank – 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 or indicating how full it is. Your spouse says, what can I do to fill it? ,
5 Primary Love Languages for Do five languages of love then suggest something you hope to do or say to your spouse that evening. Will try to fulfill his potential. Then you do the same process in reverse order: according to your request so that both of them have a chance to read each other’s love tank and give suggestions to fill it.
If you play this game for three weeks then you will get used to it and it can be an interesting way to increase the expression of love in marriage.
A husband said, ‘I don’t like this love tank game. I have played it with my wife. I came home and said to him, ‘What’s your Love Tank score tonight on a scale from zero to ten?
‘ He said, ‘Around seven. ‘What can I do to fill it? ‘ She said, ‘The biggest help you can do for me tonight is to do the laundry. ‘ I said, ‘love and laundry? I do not understand their relation. ‘ To this, I said, ‘That is the problem. Perhaps you have not understood your wife’s love language.
What is your primary love language? “He said without hesitation, ‘Body touch, and especially the sex part of marriage.’ I said, ‘Listen to me carefully. 5 Primary Love Languages for The love you feel with your wife’s physical touch is the same love you feel for your wife. What happens when you do the laundry.
‘ She said in a loud voice, ‘Get the laundry. If that makes you happy, I’m ready to do the laundry every night.’ However, if you still know your primary love language Keep records of the tank check game if you haven’t. But most of your insistence will be at the point which is your primary love language.
Many of you will probably be saying in your mind what Raymond and Helen told me in Zion, Illinois, ‘Dr. Chapman, listen to it all.’ I feel so good, but what to do if your spouse’s love language is such that you do not know, The answer to this question will be given in